Decision
by ElleEm89
Summary: My take on what I hope (but doubt) the season four premiere is like. A lot of Steve and Kono friendship here.
1. Chapter 1

She stood on the balcony of the apartment overlooking the city. She had so many questions, so much she needed to know. The city sat there, glittering in the night, oblivious to her problems, offering her nothing.

She was tired of never being heard. It had all started so long ago, when she and Adam had first gotten together. There had been no understanding from either of their families for a very long time, and some would never get to that point, she knew. Then it had escalated, with Adam keeping secrets from her. Now here she was, in a foreign country where she didn't speak the language and couldn't read the signs, where she knew exactly two people, neither of whom could help her.

Although she had been distant recently, she knew she could ask Doris what to do. But Doris would tell her to go home for Steve's and the others' sakes. Oddly enough, she could sense that Doris' advice would be to return to her family.

But Adam was a part of her family now too. And she knew what he'd say if she brought up these concerns to him. Besides, he had already made his position on the whole matter quite clear.

And deep down she supposed she knew her position on it too. But while she could see to a point miles ahead of her, she couldn't even currently tell where she was standing. She had no idea how to get from one point to the other. But she knew she couldn't continue on like this for much longer.

As she thought of the considerable dilemma she had landed herself in, the city sparkled unchanging beneath her.

Steve watched the sunrise from his living room window. He drank his coffee, went for a run, got ready, and left for work as he always did. Only things were not as they always were.

He tried to bury what had happened underneath a deep layer of staying busy. He took Catherine out on dates. He spent time with his friends. He went on so many runs through the deep forests and across the beaches that he collapsed at the end of the day due to exhaustion. He fixed everything he could around the house even though nothing really needed it. He couldn't fix the one thing that was really broken though.

He hadn't even noticed he was doing it that first morning, but by now, two months later, it had become customary. Instead of taking his usual route to work he now drove past Kono's house instead, which was only slightly out of his way, or so he told himself. Her car sat in front of it since her leaving, untouched. The curtains were closed and provided him no sign of life beyond them. He knew she'd call if she returned, or he'd hear it from Chin, but he always wanted to make sure for himself first. Even if he told himself he was just checking on her house for her.

He had thought that her dating Adam would be the most rebellious thing they could ever expect from her. He had been wrong, obviously. If he had known that one day her relationship would lead to her getting shot, to fleeing the country with Adam for his safety, he would have done more to prevent it. Hell, he would have done more than nothing, which was what he had done. He had told himself it wasn't his place, that she was an adult who could make her own decisions, and that it could never really go that far, could it?

He felt like he was just meeting her on the beach for the first time and had blinked, and this kid he was so used to having around was now an adult who was gone.

He didn't deal well with people leaving. First his mother, then his father, then, to a certain extent, his sister, who visited occasionally, usually long enough for them to argue about something, and disappeared again. Catherine too, even though it was always for work, so he could understand that a little better. But Kono? No. He expected her to be there the way he expected Chin to be dependable or Danny to rant at him over nothing. And now she was gone, and he didn't know how to deal with it. So he stayed busy, and he drove past her house every morning, and he did his best to not look at her empty office at work, the final reminder of his day that she really was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Doris usually came by the apartment every weekend to see how they were doing. And since they were trying to keep a low profile and so rarely left, they were always there to see her in. Kono didn't know exactly what to make of her. She was nothing like Steve. She had offered to travel with them and set them up with a place to live, and she and Kono had talked about everything on the ship on the way here, but she still couldn't figure her out. She seemed to have to do nothing more than look at Kono to read her mind.

_"How are you doing?" Doris asked sweetly, sitting down next to her. Adam had gone below to rest; a small ship on a choppy sea wasn't doing much for him._

_She gazed out onto the night around them. They were far from land by now, in any direction. "I'm fine."_

_She could feel Doris watching her, waiting. She continued, "I want to be with Adam."_

_"Oh, I know," she said. "That much is obvious, believe me. But such a big change, all of the sudden—I understand, believe me, I do." She smiled at her. "I'm here if you want to talk. And I'll be there after we get to Shanghai. Okay?"_

_Kono looked at her, somewhat surprised, but smiled back. "Okay. Thanks."_

_"Sure. I don't get to be much of a mom these days, so you can't blame me." She looked out at the water._

_"Is everything okay with Steve?" Kono asked tentatively. She knew it was none of her business, but they were somewhere between Hawaii and China on a rundown ship in the middle of the night, and besides her sick boyfriend she was the only person around who spoke English. She figured the usual rules didn't apply._

_Doris sighed. "Yes, I suppose so. It was bound to be a little hard at times, coming back so suddenly, especially when he thought that I was dead. But it was all so sudden that maybe a little time apart will be good for us, you know?"_

_Kono was about to press on this further when Doris said, "You know, Steve is quite fond of you. I know he'll miss you."_

_Kono nodded. "I'll miss him too. All of them. But it won't be for forever." Her own words echoed in her head as she remembered telling them just that a few hours ago._

There was a knock at the door soon after. Kono, knowing who it would be, nonetheless looked through the peephole before opening it.

Doris smiled as she was let in. "Hi there sweetie, how are you?" she asked.

"Oh, good. How are you?"

"Just fine. Been visiting with an old friend, actually. Oh, Adam, how are you?"

Adam walked into the room to greet her. "I'm good," he said, giving her a smile. The tension from earlier had left his face. "Listen," he said. "I'm going for a walk, gotta get some fresh air. I won't be long," he added in response to the look on Kono's face. They usually only left the apartment together, just in case something were to happen or someone were to find them. But she let it go this time. "Okay. Be safe."

He nodded and went out the door.

Kono looked back to Doris who had been watching her. "What is it?" Kono asked. She was doing it again; that look that meant she was trying to discern what was in her head.

Doris shook her head and smiled "Nothing," she said, none too convincingly. She pulled out a box from a bag she had brought with her. "Hungry?"

-H50-

To their credit, Steve, Danny, and Chin had made a total of sixteen arrests of people suspected of having Yakuza ties in a mere eight weeks. That was about sixteen more than had ever been arrested on the islands, and the three were quite proud of themselves. Besides relentlessly hunting the members down and working on their usual cases, Danny and Chin were now busy again in their personal lives.

Gabby had gotten back from Morocco and she and Danny seemed to be picking up right where they left off. Every moment of his day was filled with either work, Grace, or spending time with Gabby, and Steve could tell how exhausted he was trying to balance it all. But he seemed happy, like a weight had been lifted from him. For all his jokes about how relationships weren't worth it, the guy seemed to be at his best when he was in one.

Chin and Lelani had begun to casually date, but it was obvious the two were beginning to be very close. Chin often came to work wearing a very un-Chin-like goofy expression on his face, and often raced for his phone when it rang.

Both men obviously missed Kono and talked about her often, but seemed to be doing very well otherwise.

Oddly, it was Steve who was having the hardest time of them all. Catherine was on one of her long assignments again, and this time would be gone for two entire months on the mainland. So outside of his obsessive exercise and repair regime, he had little to occupy himself in the evenings and early mornings when he wasn't at work.

So he brought work home with him. He tirelessly worked out possible connections between suspected Yakuza members, investigated leads, arrested, interrogated, and imprisoned. After a while it didn't get to him anymore, and he worked as hard as he physically and mentally could to clear the island of the pieces of scum that had caused all these problems in the first place.

He would eventually give Kono no reason to stay away any longer.

-H50-

"Good, isn't it?"

"What? Oh, yeah. It's good." Kono took a bite of the food Doris had brought to prove her point.

They continued to eat in silence. Adam had since gotten back but had gone to a back bedroom, saying he wasn't hungry. Doris and Kono sat on the balcony outside.

Suddenly Doris put her food down. "Look Kono, I know we haven't really known each other for very long, but I was a CIA operative for twenty years, and I can read people pretty damn well by now. Are you going to tell me what's going on with you or not?"

Catherine had mentioned this type of brutal honesty to her once. "Uh, what do you mean?" she asked, knowing it would be of no use.

"Even in a cramped apartment in a foreign city in which you're hiding from high-profile gang members and are separated from your family, no one would look quite as depressed as you." She took another bite of food and watched her.

Damn, Steve had been right. She dropped her fork and looked at Doris. "Adam asked me to move to New York with him when this is all done. Permanently."

Doris just watched her for a few seconds, but Kono had nothing left to say. She returned the stare.

"New York, huh?" Doris asked, smiling and taking another bite of food. Kono felt a slight frustration. She couldn't figure this woman out. "And I suppose he thinks this is good for both of you?"

"It's good for him but not for me. He used to live there, he's got plenty of people there he did legitimate business with, and a lot of friends. But that's not my home."

"He doesn't want to go back to Hawaii?"

"No. He said it was nothing but trouble there. He said we'll never be fully safe there."

"And what about after Steve and the others put a good amount of those men away? Would he consider it then?"

"I've asked him about that. He says he won't."

"Look, Kono, I've run into my share of people in my time. I can tell that Adam cares about you very much. But asking someone you love, no matter how much you care about them, to leave behind their entire life is a lot to ask. For anyone, in any situation."

Kono nodded. "I figured that's what you'd say."

"Steve always used to tell me how smart you were. I'm sure you'll figure this one out." And with that she picked up her food and went back inside the apartment, closing the door behind her.

As soon as the door closed Kono felt the tears come up, and she didn't try to stop them. Aside from the reminder of her family came the reminder she had let them down. She had left. Steve certainly wouldn't call her smart now.

She sat outside for a long time.


	3. Chapter 3

Steve didn't scare easily, but nonetheless jumped slightly when his phone rang suddenly at one in the morning. He hadn't been able to sleep and so was awake, searching the house for yet another project that he could fill his time with. Without looking at the phone, he reached over and pressed a button. "Hello?" he said.

There was silence on the other end. Then a quiet, hesitant, "Steve?"

He was suddenly alert, all tiredness forgotten. "Kono?"

"Hi," she said.

"Hi. Uh, how are you? Are you okay?"

He hadn't talked to her since the night she had left with Adam and his mother, eight weeks before. She had called Chin when they arrived and he had told her about how Charlie had pulled through just fine, but that had been her only contact.

"Yeah, I'm okay. What time is it there?"

"About one."

"Oh, sorry. I thought it was still earlier."

"That's fine. Listen, what's going on? How is everything?"

"Fine. We're all okay. Your mom came to visit yesterday."

"Oh good, I was hoping she wouldn't disappear."

"No, she's been helping us a lot."

There was silence for a moment. Steve tried to think of a way to not phrase his next question so obviously but when he could think of no other way, he simply said, "Are you coming back?"

He heard her sigh on the other end of the phone. "It's so complicated, Steve."

He could hear her voice cracking slightly. "Okay, tell me what's going on."

And he listened for the next few moments as Kono told him all about Adam's wish to go to New York, not just to visit but to live. To set up their lives there. When she finished, he merely said, "Oh."

Kono was silent too for a while. Then she said, "It's just… it's just one damn thing after another, you know?" She laughed a little, but it was a bitter, resigned laugh, and he hated having to hear it come from her.

"Kono," he said.

"Yeah?" she asked, and he could tell she was crying.

"Come back."

"Steve, I would if it were that simple, but it's not. I'm worried if I do I'll never see him again."

"And if you don't, that won't be on you. If you come back home and he decides to stay away, that's his loss and not yours. You went through hell for him. It's time he gave something back to you."

"He saved my life. Twice."

"And you ran away with him. And helped clear his name by being with him. None of that matters. You belong here with us. And if he wants to be a part of that, then great, but if not, you deserve better."

"You sound just like your mom."

"Well, I can't explain that one."

She laughed, then immediately stopped. "I'm so scared. I wish we weren't in this mess."

"Are you coming back?"

Silence once more. "I want to," she said. "I really, really want to. I just don't know how yet."

"Here's how: go to the airport, buy a ticket, and come back. We'll all pick you up and take you to a nice dinner to welcome you back. There. See?"

"Oh thanks. It's really that simple, huh?"

"Part of it is. I don't know how you should say this to Adam, but you need to come back. Tell him we've been busy going after the Yakuza and we've made a lot of progress. Tell him we'll keep both of you safe. We will, you know."

"Yeah. I know." She paused. "Steve, I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

"Yeah, I do. I left my job, I left all of you. I'm just sorry."

"We understand why you did it. No one's mad at you, believe me. We just miss you."

He could hear voices on her end of the phone. "I've gotta go," she said. "I'll call back when I can, okay?"

A million thoughts rushed through Steve's mind of things he wanted to tell her. Be safe, think about what I said, are you sure everything's all right?, call back soon, I really, really miss you. But instead he said, "Okay," and she hung up before he could add anything else.

-H50-

Breakfast the next day was subdued. There had been little else to talk about since Adam had told her of his plans, and neither seemed very inclined after their argument the previous day to bring it up again. But despite everything Kono was feeling better than she had since shortly after they left. Up until last night she had felt a million miles away from everything she knew except Adam. After talking with Steve, it all seemed so much closer. Her family really was only a plane trip away.

"I don't mean to bring up a difficult subject, but have you thought any more about what I've said?" Adam asked, trying to appear casual.

She looked back at him as she continued to eat, matching his acting. "A little," she said evasively.

"And have you made any kind of decision?"

"I think I have," she responded, and her tone seemed to indicate to Adam what she was thinking.

"Because it's not just about me," he said. "I can't say if they'll ever go after you again or not. And I'm sorry you have to be involved like that, but New York's the best way to go. We'd be protected by a lot of people there, and we'd be able to pick up our lives again." He waited, food forgotten, and watched her.

She let a moment of silence occur before saying, "I'm not really fond of snow."

He looked down at the table, obviously hurt. "Then how can we be together?" he asked, voice full of pain.

"By going back home," she said, tears forming in her eyes.

He sighed. "I can't go back there. It was where everything fell apart."

"It's also where we met."

"And I'm grateful for that. But do you really want to live the rest of our lives looking over our shoulders?"

"Oh, is that why we came here? To be relieved of all that?"

"You chose to come with me. I didn't ask you to."

"Well, we should have never left in the first place."

"I would've had to leave eventually."

"So we'd be in this same situation we're in now, just sitting in your kitchen at home instead of being here?"

He looked down at the table for a moment before composing himself enough to look up into her eyes.

"I don't want to do this to you. I never wanted this. But it's the reality, and I'm just asking you to go with me."

"I don't want to be with anyone else. But I'm tired, Adam. I'm so tired. I just want to go home."

He nodded. "I know." They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"You can come with me. Steve said they've made a lot of progress there with Yakuza arrests. He says they can protect us."

"You talked to Steve?"

"Yeah. Yesterday."

He sighed. "I want to believe him, but even he can't know for sure what will happen if we go back."

"And we can't know what will happen if we stay here. Or if we go to New York. Or if we go to California, Italy, Canada. We'll never know, Adam." Her voice broke slightly when saying his name. "Come with me."

He pushed his chair back and stood up from the table. He grabbed his jacket and walked out through the apartment door.


	4. Chapter 4

**After reading the reviews I learned that some people are reading this as a Steve/Kono romance, which is fine, but it isn't meant to be that way. I like their relationship as just friends, but I like to write it from a very intimate perspective. So no romance between these two, unless you just want to read it that way.**

**Thanks for reading this far and I hope you enjoy the ending!**

Kono walked down the street and jumped on a bus at the last second. She took it down seven blocks and got off, managing to pay for the first time with the new currency without making a mistake. She walked down the alley between two buildings, down a set of stairs, through a park, and onto another busy street where she turned a corner and stepped into the payphone booth.

It was the only one she had yet to find in the vicinity of the apartment. It was old, took more money than it said it needed, but it worked just fine and made it so a call to her family couldn't be traced back to the landline in the apartment.

She considered who to call and decided it would be Steve again. He already knew the story anyway, and she knew she'd worry Chin, and Danny would rant. She dialed the number and waited.

As it rang she realized she had no idea what time it was there. She quickly tried to calculate it. It was nine their time, so that would make it late afternoon there.

"Hello?"

She had never been more relieved to hear his voice, except perhaps the previous day. "Hey," she said. She was suddenly doubting her math skills. "What time is it where you are?"

"Probably the same time it is with you."

She froze. "What?" she asked him.

"Don't be mad," he said quickly. "But when you called last you sounded so upset, so we…me, Danny, and Chin…we came here to get you."

"You what? I can get back by myself, thank you!"

"Hey, rookie," came Danny's voice on the other end of the line, and she could only guess she was on speaker. "I've been on an airplane for the last ten hours and I'm in a country where I can only guess what the food is that I'm eating. Therefore there will be no complaining that just because you can, you didn't get to get yourself home, okay?"

"How are you cuz?"

She closed her eyes at how good it felt to hear his voice again. "I'm fine," she said, a bit of emotion showing through in her words.

"Steve told us what's going on. Where's Adam?"

"I don't know. I'm not at the apartment."

"Oh, she's not at the apartment," came Danny's voice from the background. "And where might you be, missy?"

"How did you even know there was an apartment? How did you find me?"

"My mother," Steve said simply.

Oh, she thought. She should have known.

"So where are you now?"

"Headed that way," said Chin. "Fighting traffic though, so it might take a while."

Kono didn't know what to say. The idea that her family was here, so close, was enough to make her want to cry. But more than that, she wanted to see them.

"Okay," she said. "I'll go back to the apartment and try to get a hold of Adam. I can't leave without seeing him."

"Of course," said Chin. "We'll make sure everything is taken care of before we all leave, okay?"

Once more, she didn't know what to say. "I've got a ways to walk before I get back," she finally said. "I'll see you soon."

"See you in a bit," said Steve. She hung up the phone.

-H50-

"This place is a zoo," Danny said from the backseat. "I can't believe I'm saying this, so write it down, take a picture, what have you, because it will probably never happen again, but I miss Hawaii so much."

"Well, we only have to get through the traffic, hope there's a parking spot, get up to the apartment, get Kono, convince Adam to not give her a hard time about her decision and maybe even go with us, then fight the traffic again, get on another ten hour flight, and we'll be back."

"Shut up Steve. You secretly love this. The inconvenience, the being in a country where you're the only one who understands any of what anybody says. You're in your element right now."

After another ten minutes, even Chin was getting frustrated with the traffic. "At this rate, the airport will be closed by the time we get to it."

"Airports don't close," Steve said from the passenger seat.

"You know what I mean."

"We'll get her. Okay?"

Chin nodded.

"Are the doors locked?" Danny asked suddenly. Chin and Steve both looked around in alarm. "Because that guy who's obviously on every drug known to man looks like he'd love to push his way into this car and make this trip even more enjoyable."

Chin tested the locks. "They don't work," he reported.

"Of course. We'd get the only car they rent out that doesn't have working locks. Kono must be half out of her mind by now with living here."

"No sense of adventure," Steve said in mock sadness, shaking his head.

"Hey, I have plenty of a sense of adventure, Steven. It's just that I prefer my adventure with a little planning, a little stability, a little—oh my God!"

Chin and Steve both whipped their heads around as the back door to the unmoving car was flung open.

And in came Kono.

She fell on Danny, giving him a huge hug while his face went from sheer terror to confusion to joy in less than three seconds.

"Hey, how did you get here?"

"How did you know where we were?"

"How are you doing?"

"Are you guys all right?"

"It's so good to see you again."

"Keep an eye out, the doors don't lock."

And suddenly the trip back to the apartment seemed to take no time at all.

-H50-

After about an hour, while they waited for Adam to return and they filled each other in on what had been happening, their conversation had quieted down a considerable amount. While Chin commented on the view of the city while Danny remarked about how sorry he was she hadn't had any real food in months, Steve said quietly to her from their place on the couch, "Are you going to be okay?"

She looked into his eyes. "Eventually." She waited a moment. "I'm sorry if I let you guys down."

He shook his head. "You didn't."

"Your mom told me how you said I was smart. And then I go and do something like this."

"Well, I do think you're smart. But I also think that you've got a big heart and when you love someone, you give them everything. And that might get in the way of your better judgment."

She was silent at this because she knew he was right.

"I missed you," he said simply. "I'm glad you're coming back."

The apartment door suddenly opened.

"Adam," Kono said as he stepped inside.

He looked surprised to see the three men there. "Hi," he said.

Steve decided to get right to business. He was tired of waiting, tired of prolonging things, tired of Kono not being at home. "We're taking her back with us," he said. "It's up to you if you want to come along."

Adam sighed. "Could I have a moment alone with her?" he asked.

"Sure," said Chin, and the three men stepped out into the hallway.

"So what about your mom?" asked Danny once they shut the door.

"She said she'll be back in Hawaii in a week," he answered.

"So you'll finally get your answers?"

"I doubt it. But I'm not going to stop trying."

After a few moments the door to the apartment opened. Kono came out alone.

Tears were pouring from her eyes. She wiped them impatiently away and said, "Let's go."

-H50-

A few days later, Steve left his house for work again. Things could not have been more different than they were four days ago. He could have sworn that things were literally brighter.

Out of habit, he found himself driving down Kono's street again. He got to her house, noting the opened curtains and the lights on, and smiled to himself. Then, before he even knew what he was doing, pulled in her driveway.

He knocked on the door and waited. A few seconds later she answered it, looking surprised. "Hey," she said. "Everything okay?"

'Yeah. Just wanted to see how you're doing. Are you sure you're ready to come back to work already?"

She stood aside to let him in. "Yeah, I am," she said, closing the door. "I need something to distract me. And I missed being around you guys."

"We missed you too. It was hard, not knowing when you'd be back."

"It was hard on me too."

"Listen," he said. "Can we talk for a while?"

"Won't we be late?"

"I'm the boss, I say it's okay."

They sat down on her couch. He sighed. "A lot's gone on this past year," he began. "I mean, with my mom and Catherine…and Adam…we didn't get to see much of each other. And I realized that when you were gone, I regretted that. So since you're back…do you want to go surfing or something?"

She almost laughed at the lame ending to his speech. But she settled for smiling instead. "Of course," she answered.

"I've missed us being friends," he said.

"Me too."

They chatted for another few minutes until Steve finally suggested they get to work. "Hey," he said, just before closing the front door.

She looked up at him.

"I'm glad you came back."

The End


End file.
